Holiday

That’s right, this holiday weekend will mark my 48th birthday! I can’t believe I am that old, and I am eternally grateful to still be around at this age, and knowing there could still potentially be another 40 years ahead of me.

I decided I will mark the occasion by spending it with my parents. Tomorrow, we will ‘hit the town,’ and by that I mean we will go out to dinner, and maybe enjoy a little cake in the evening. I am not married, and do not have children of my own, so this is a common way for me to celebrate.

Tonight we had BLTs, one of our favorites for an early dinner, and I took an early, long walk on our property, enjoying the quiet of the outdoors. I was a little less than excited by the bugs bothering me on the walk, but overall it was a great time.

I was feeling a little restless today.

I had plans to spend the whole weekend catching up on my book, but I haven’t yet picked it up. I have been both excited, and sad that I am turning 48. But only because mortality is often on my mind, and every birthday brings the Grim Reaper closer.

I tried to think back to see if there might be a time in my life that I would rather return to then now, and I realized, even if I was back to most healthiest self, while still in the Army, I would not want to go back in time. I am content with life the way it is – in the PRESENT. I mean, I miss my sister, I wish she was still alive, but otherwise, my life is comfortable.

And really, isn’t that all we can ask for? Being comfortable? Although, I do wonder if I play life a little safe. Holding all my cards, close to my chest. I take fewer risks, my fears of mortality are real, and therefore quite consuming at times. I suppose where I take the most risks now, is in my writing. It’s the only place I know I still put my full heart on display for others – even though it is often just as terrifying.

Tonight, I will work on my writing, maybe write that short story for the Write Michigan Short Story contest. Maybe I’ll finally pick up my book tonight and dive into another story. Maybe I’ll spend a little time focusing on my poetic side. Maybe I’ll just watch a little television. One thing is for sure, I will do it all, with my dog by my side. She is currently sleeping at the end of my bed.

Yes, tomorrow, I will celebrate my last day of my 47th year on this earth, and Monday, I will be 48.

I say it again, and yet, I still don’t feel it. Maybe that is the point though. The point, of emotional maturity. Being able to calmly move from day to day, without the wildness of our younger selves choices getting in the way. Thinking things through before you react. While I have definitely matured over time, I consider myself a constant work in progress.

As I go through the growing pains of rolling into another year of life, I hope you all enjoy your Labor Day weekend with gusto, or maybe your like me and play it a little safe – whatever you do, put your heart into it!

Take care for now,

~Melissa, AKA Aunt Author